


The One Thing Needful

by jesterlady



Category: Philadelphia Story (1940), Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Movie Fusion, Break Up, Classical References, Drunkenness, F/M, Not a Crossover, Original Character(s), Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-14
Updated: 2013-04-14
Packaged: 2017-12-08 11:11:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/760690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesterlady/pseuds/jesterlady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Veronica and Logan are broken up and bad things happen for Veronica.  Logan gets some inspiration from an old movie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: While recently watching _The Philadelphia Story_ , I realized how very similar Veronica and Logan are to Tracy and Dexter. I thought the two could definitely learn from that movie. It obviously helps if you've seen it, but this is mainly about LoVe. Go watch it anyway, it's amazing! Beta-d by exmanhater. Any remaining mistakes are mine. Spoilers: Through S3 of VM.  
> Disclaimer: I don't own VM or TPS. Some lines are from the show and there are quotes from the movie. The title is by J.C Ryle.

_Tracy: I'm such an unholy mess of a girl...But never in my life, not if I live to be a hundred, will I ever forget how you tried to stand me on my feet again.  
Dexter: You - you're in great shape._

Veronica Mars has cried before. Sometimes, before everything changes, she lies in her bed and wonders if tears are the only thing in life she can count on. But even her tears desert her eventually. It's a slow process. The death of her best friend still brings forth a torrent, but there is only one when her mother leaves. And there is another, one more fateful tear, the day she wakes in a strange bed.

But then there are no more tears. Nothing in her face or eyes to show the pain. Sometimes she wonders if there's anything inside at all.

***

Logan Echolls has never been one for classical movies. He likes things with action, fast paced, preferably filled with violence, swearing, guns, explosions, and other things that help him forget what he sees every time he looks in the mirror: a broken, little boy, unfixable. 

He has to pretend or he wouldn't get out of bed in the morning. Someone has to be strong in his family. Someone has to rebel, just the tiniest bit, against Aaron's rages. Someone has to take the punishment. It doesn't mean his mom pops pills and looks the other way any less, or that Trina's long line of gentleman callers grows any smaller, but at least Logan's the one with the belt scars.

Sometimes when he's at school, he can't pretend anymore and he sits at the popular table with all his peers and thinks about how each of them plays a part. Neptune's finest are all actors and award-deserving ones at that. He doesn't need to tell his friends about the dysfunction of his family. They're all dealing with their own. Occasionally Logan wonders just how inbred all of his friends are and which ones of them might secretly be his brother or sister. He tries not to think about that when he's out with a girl.

But most of the time, Logan pretends and that shows up in the movies he watches and the music he listens to. He doesn't like black and white movies. They provide too much room for introspection. But now he's in college and in film class. Now the American classics are expected of him. He'll go along with it, for the grade. He just doesn't suspect that Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn will change his life.


	2. Chapter 2

_Tracy: Only as it happens, I'm not interested in myself, for the moment.  
Dexter: Not interested in yourself! You're fascinated, Red. You're far and away your favorite person in the world.  
Tracy: Dexter, in case you don't know it -  
Dexter: Of course, Mr. Connor, she's a girl who's generous to a fault.  
Tracy: To a fault, Mr. Connor.  
Dexter: Except to other people's faults. For instance, she never had any understanding of my deep and gorgeous thirst.  
Tracy: That was your problem.  
Dexter: Granted. But you took on that problem with me when you took me, Red. You were no help-mate there. You were a scold.  
Tracy: It was disgusting. It made you so unattractive.  
Dexter: A weakness, sure, and strength is her religion, Mr. Connor. She finds human imperfection unforgiveable. And when I gradually discovered that my relationship to her was supposed to be not that of a loving husband and a good companion, but-oh, never mind.  
Tracy: Say it.  
Dexter: But that of a kind of high priest to a virgin goddess, then my drinks grew deeper and more frequent, that's all.   
Tracy: I never considered you as that, nor myself.  
Dexter: You did without knowing it._

***

“I have spent the last few days being terrified that I had some whacked-out rapist following me!” said Veronica.

“Look, I had the same fear,” said Logan in a placating tone.

“So you pay someone to tail me?”

“No, so I asked you to stop putting yourself in danger and you told me to piss off. Then I hired someone to protect you.”

“You had no right to do that,” she said vehemently.

“Look, that's probably true...okay? It's just I don't care.”

“You don't care?”

“Look, I don't give a rat's ass if it's right or fair. I don't care if you're angry. I care that you're safe."

“That's all sweet and great, but it doesn't really work that way. It's not like this is all some new facet of my personality. You know who I am! You know what I do.”

“And?” he asked.

“And...it isn't gonna change. And if you can't accept that, this isn't gonna work.” 

“You know who I am," he said, stepping forward earnestly. "And you're constantly expecting me to change. And even right now, as you're thinking, 'crap, he's got a point,' you still think you're ultimately right." He paused as it sunk in. "I love you, Veronica. I love you. But, do you love me?” 

She didn't say anything for a moment.

“Yeah.” 

“Well then, can we try to go a little easier on each other?”

“Yeah, I think that's a good idea.”

“So, are we okay?” he asked, folding her to him in a hug. 

“Yeah...we're okay,” she whispered into his shoulder.

They weren't okay. They both knew that.

***

The biggest surprise was that he broke up with her. She'd spent the last few days trying to readjust herself, trying to summon the feelings of ecstasy she'd felt when they'd gotten back together. That didn't work and she'd known it wouldn't. There was no such thing as a trouble-free relationship, but she was starting to wonder if it wasn't just her pride that kept her in this one. She'd taken him on again, she'd stick with it, and she wouldn't fail. Fail in what, she sometimes asked herself, and then she stopped, because she was Veronica Mars and looking too deep uncovered wounds she didn’t want to remember. 

It was obvious he'd been drinking when he did it which made her more than a little angry. That was something he should've never started, and should've stopped as soon as they got together. She drank occasionally herself, so she couldn't tell him not to, but he should know better anyway. He should, especially after all the trouble his drinking had caused for himself and for their relationship.

“I can't take feeling like a failure, Veronica,” he said, not even looking at her.

“You're the only one who can make yourself a failure, Logan,” she said crisply.

“I didn't say I was a failure, I said I was tired of feeling like one. It's you that makes me feel that way, no matter what I do. I can be on top of the world and there's no one who can bring me down quicker.” 

He quirked a half smile and it made her furious.

“I see. I'm to blame for the drinking and lewd behavior, for sleeping with hos and burning public swimming pools, bar fights and bum fights and DUIs and getting arrested.” 

“No, you don't instigate anything, Veronica Mars. But you're no help-mate.”

“I refuse to be held responsible for your problems.”

“And that's why this doesn't work, my dear,” he said. “I want to be part of a team and you want a perfect subject. Never gonna happen.”

“That's not true,” she said, stung. 

“Not literally,” he said.

“So, that's it?”

“Isn't that the way you want it?” he asked.

His pointedly casual tone made her furious.

“At this point, I'm thinking, yeah.”

“Any parting shots?”

“Thanks for the disappointment,” she said bitterly and left. 

***

Logan sat down and ruefully rubbed his face. Breaking up had been his objective, but, somehow, he wasn't sure he was happy with it. A dull resentment kept flaming within him as the thoughts raced in his head. Veronica Mars, queen of the high road. Logan Echolls, bum of the lower beings. 

He glanced at the whiskey bottle on the shelf and his hand grabbed it, almost of its own accord, and smashed it against the wall. He was seized with energy and went through the entire suite emptying anything with alcohol in it.

Change, change was good. Change wouldn't last without something substantial behind it.


	3. Chapter 3

_George: You know, we're gonna represent something, Tracy, you and I in our home, something straight, sound, and fine. Then perhaps your friend Mr. Haven will be somewhat less condescending.  
Tracy: George, you, you don't really mind him, do you? I mean, the fact of him...I mean...that he ever was my lord and master. That we ever were...  
George: I don't believe he ever was, Tracy, not really. I don't believe that anyone ever was - or ever will be. That's the wonderful thing about you, Tracy.  
Tracy: What? How?  
George: Well, you're like some marvelous, distant, well, queen, I guess. You're so cool and fine and - and always so much your own. There's a kind of beautiful purity about you, Tracy, like, like a statue...  
Tracy: George -  
George: Oh, it's grand, Tracy. It's what everybody feels about you. It's what I first worshipped you for from afar.  
Tracy: George, listen -  
George: First, now, and always! Only from a little nearer now, eh, darling!  
Tracy: I-I don't want to be worshipped. I want to be loved!  
George: Well, you're that too, Tracy. Oh, you're that all right.  
Tracy: I mean really loved.  
George: But that goes without saying, Tracy.  
Tracy: No. No, now it's you who doesn't see what I mean. I-_

Four months later

Veronica exited her Criminal Psych class and headed for the cafeteria. She was going to meet Mac there and she was late. The class had been so interesting that she'd stayed behind to talk to her professor. She slung her bag over her shoulder and quickened her step, digging her phone out of her pocket with her other hand. She had three messages, two from Mac, and she hastily listened to them as she neared the cafeteria doors and collided with a solid wall of flesh.

Her nose hurt. Startled, she looked up and blinked at the man, no way he could be called anything else, that she'd just run into. 

“Slow down there,” he cautioned, steadying her with one hand.

“Sorry,” she said slowly, “I wasn't looking where I was going.”

“That much is obvious,” he said, smiling. “I'm afraid I spilled my smoothie on you.”

Veronica looked down in surprise at the pink fluid that had splattered itself all over her pants.

“Oh. It's my fault.”

“Undoubtedly,” he said and laughed. “But I'm sorry just the same.”

“Let me buy you another one.”

“Oh, don't worry about it. I don't want to bother you, Veronica.”

“How do you know me?” 

Veronica was instantly suspicious. He flushed and backed away a little.

“Who doesn't know you? You're Veronica Mars. You've been involved in every large crime Neptune's known in the past three years, including an ongoing rape spree and the murder of our own Dean. You're one of the top students at Hearst, had a big break up with the famous Logan Echolls. You have quite the reputation for being a hard nose for justice, not taking anyone's crap, and setting high standards for everyone here. Tiny, blonde, and volatile, you're hard to miss.”

Veronica's mouth turned down when he mentioned Logan, but other than that, she was actually almost flattered. She'd have to watch this man.

“What's your name?” she asked. “Let's be fair, seeing as how I don't know anything about you.”

“John,” he said, sticking out his hand. “And, actually, I will say yes to that smoothie, if you don't mind.”

“Not at all,” she said, leading the way, waving to Mac as she went. “I do think I should at least learn something about you. Come on, I'll introduce you to my friend Mac, unless you already know everything about her too?”

“No,” John said, “just you.”

“I'll bear that in mind.”

A small, bruised portion of Veronica's heart was thumping. 

*** 

It didn't help that Dick seemed to almost always have a cool one in his hand. Logan had banned alcohol from the suite, but that didn't stop Dick from getting it everywhere else imaginable. It also didn't seem to occur to his roommate that Logan might not want to be reminded of the alcohol he no longer consumed.

He'd been in several rehab centers over the past few months, read every single book about centering oneself that was ever written, had distracted himself with sports, business, even schoolwork. It was helping, but one of the only things Logan could think about was how he didn't have anyone to help him and, only partly, was that his fault.

So, when he slipped a black and white movie into his dvd player, he wasn't expecting anything that would help him, he was simply trying to raise his grade.

 _The Philadelphia Story_ was a movie made in 1940 and directed by George Cukor, starring Cary Grant, Katherine Hepburn, and Jimmy Stewart. It was nominated for several academy awards and won two. Logan read the back and snorted. He was sure it was all well deserved, but he couldn't wait to get the next couple of hours over with.

The movie started out with a vicious breakup and that he could certainly relate to. The dialogue was witty and that he could relate to. The story was about the difference in classes and that he could definitely relate to. He found himself leaning forward.

A rich man who was an alcoholic dating a woman with impossible standards. How familiar.

A woman who couldn't stand failure, who dismissed a parent who'd made a mistake, and who couldn't face the truth.

A woman who got drunk and was able to move past the image she'd created of herself, to get into a compromising situation and see new perspective, to realize the next morning who she was and what she really wanted.

Mostly, Logan saw himself. Because here was a man who had screwed up, who was screwed over, but was someone who fought to put himself back together. Who never stopped loving the person who couldn't accept him. Who helped her even when she scorned him. Who accepted her humanity with joyful glee. Who won in the end.

He would not hope, he could not. Wasn't this his choice? But he'd had to do it. He had to deal with his problems. He could only hope she would deal with hers. Not that he thought that would happen. Veronica tended to see what others were doing and didn't examine herself too closely. But that didn't excuse him from making sure he was the best man he could be. 

Only the day before he'd almost asked Dick to toss him a beer too. But now, now he was going to stick to this. He would be better and not so he would be worthy of Veronica, though he wanted to be. She would have to come to her own valley of decision. He craved forgiveness and he craved her having the ability to forgive. But he had to make himself right with himself.


	4. Chapter 4

_Tracy: You seem quite contemptuous of me all of a sudden.  
Dexter: No, Red, not of you, never of you. Red, you could be the finest woman on this earth. I'm contemptuous of something inside of you you either can't help, or make no attempt to; your so-called 'strength' - your prejudice against weakness - your blank intolerance.  
Tracy: Is that all?  
Dexter: That's the gist of it; because you'll never be a first-class human being or a first-class woman, until you've learned to have some regard for human frailty. It's a pity your own foot can't slip a little sometime - but your sense of inner divinity wouldn't allow that. This goddess must and shall remain intact. There are more of you than people realize - a special class of the American Female. The Married Maidens.  
Tracy: So help me, Dexter, if you say another word, I'll...  
Dexter: I'm through, Red. For the moment, I've had my say._

Veronica started feeling suspicious when her father stayed at the office a little too late most nights. Sometimes his bed wasn't slept in. She'd had a few conversations with him regarding noir dates with ex-clients who were still married. It wasn't that she didn't want him to have a good time - he was the man who deserved it most in the whole world, in her opinion. But it was weird that he didn't tell her about it. They never had any problems disclosing romantic intrigues to each other; though, he did seem to have a habit of dating people connected to her like counselors and Alicia. 

Veronica's conscience niggled at her a little when she tailed her dad. Logan's words of reproach rose in her mind, but she squarely put them away. He didn't have any part in her life anymore. She wasn't really worried. Logan might say her standards were too high, but if they were it was because she had one man who had proved to her it was possible to be that way. That man was the person she measured everybody else by - and rightly so, she thought.

She tracked her dad to the Grand where she used her contacts acquired during the Logan era. Tina gladly helped her out. Veronica went up the elevator with her heart pounding. Going down the hallway was like torture. She heard voices and quickly ducked down behind the maid's cart, conveniently located just there. A man and woman were talking. Strike that, her dad was talking with a woman. She peeked out her head and saw him come out the door and bend down to kiss the woman goodbye.

He'd been her standard. Her picture of an ideal man. But he was in a hotel room with a married woman named Harmony - a truly ironic name, she mused bitterly - and there was nothing but shattered dreams in Veronica's heart.

Things had been going pretty well for Veronica. It had been hard dealing with the Logan thing, being nearly raped again had been pretty traumatic, of course. But school was good, her friends were all there. And there was John. 

John was from a good family, if not especially rich, he'd been raised right. He got good grades and never drank. He didn't have the best sense of humor and was a little bit too fond of boring activities, but he was everything she needed. Someone who wasn't prone to fighting, had never been arrested. Someone who she could never suspect of being her brother, someone safe. She never said the last word to herself, but she knew it was there. 

Now she was crushed and she went to John and she flung her arms around him. He held her; continually asking her what was the matter. She wished he would just shut up and hold her. Logan would have. But that wasn't something she wanted to think about. 

Summoning up a smile, she pulled away, suddenly not wanting to say anything. 

“I had a bad day,” she answered. “I'll tell you about it later. I have to meet Mac now.”

“Okay, sugar.” 

Veronica hated it when he called her sugar. 

She would definitely tell Mac and Wallace though.

***

Logan didn’t like to see Veronica with John. It wasn’t a relationship he had any right to stop and maybe it was his own biased view, but he didn’t like the guy. On the surface, John seemed to be everything Veronica needed. But Logan knew better. Veronica needed fire and edge, tempered with wisdom and steel. He’d always had the first two, now he was learning the second. Veronica wouldn’t know that, especially with John’s hulky arms plastered all over her.

Still, he had to learn to be patient, so Logan turned his back and tried to concentrate on his meal. It was funny how he could feel it when she spotted him. The gaze on his back lingered, paused, then seemed to resolve itself and Logan stiffened himself up for a spree.

“Slumming it?” she asked, coming around from behind him.

“Don’t be silly. These people are the salt of the earth. In some cases, quite literally,” he answered, peering beneath the bun of his hamburger as if afraid of what he would find.

“Why don’t you just order some fancy room service and never leave the hotel?”

“I couldn’t do that. Y-the world needs me too much.”

“Logan, I’ve had a really bad day and I don’t need any more remarks from you.”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe I initiated no converse with thee.”

“But you’re loving it.”

“Some masochistic part of me, perhaps. But might as well encourage it; sit down, toots, why’s the bad day?”

“You’re so typical,” she said, throwing her bag on the table. “Never anything original from you.”

Logan was doing his best to stay congenial, but this girl could fire him up like no other. It was obvious she was raring for a fight and what thing he was supposed to bear the brunt of now, he didn’t know.

“I’m still waiting.”

“My dad’s…it’s none of your business.”

“Veronica, you can always walk away and I’ll remember our charming little exchange for my memoirs.”

“I don’t know why I even bother,” she said. After a moment or two of tense silence, she looked down and spoke. “My dad’s having an affair. There is officially no one in this world that I can trust. Everyone is so…”

“Human?” he supplied and knew it was a mistake from the way her eyes flashed.

“Being human is not a prerequisite for being an adulterer, a drunkard, a criminal, or a complete and utter asshole. But then, you wouldn’t know that.” 

Logan’s lips twitched.

“Listen, dearest, I don’t want to make excuses for your dad because I honestly don’t think he should have an affair. It’s wrong and it breaks up people’s lives, but you know what? It’s not my doing. Don’t take it out on me.”

“You asked!”

“Because you hinted. Seriously, Veronica, did you even think to find out why your dad did it? Or if he’s sorry about it? Everyone makes mistakes, the high and mighty Mars people included. You’ve got to stop doing this. I’ve told you so many times, but you never listen. You just won’t stop.”

“What? Uncovering the truth? Believing that we should be the better version of ourselves? That people should pay for their mistakes?”

“Rome wasn’t built in a day, my pet. Everyone grows, but at their own pace, not the Veronica Mars prescribed rate. You can’t expect everyone to be where you are and maybe you should take a look at where you are. There’s a little sin called pride that I’ve heard is the biggest of them all.”

“Coming from you that’s the biggest hypocrisy I’ve ever heard.” 

“Is it? Is it really? You been keeping tabs on me? Have you noticed me out carousing? I’ve been doing quieter things with my time. I saw a movie awhile ago, you should watch it. Called _The Philadelphia Story_. Black and white, but an awful good watch. You might just want to take the leading lady’s name and insert Veronica Mars.“

Logan grabbed his tray, his appetite lost, and stood up. He walked over to the trash can, dumped his food, and stalked out of the cafeteria, leaving Veronica looking slightly shell shocked. 

***

Veronica didn't feel like going home but how else was she going to get a change of clothes? She'd noticed Harmony's car outside the office and figured if she hurried, she could sneak in and out without being seen. Her wounds were raw after encountering Logan and she knew it was her own fault for engaging him. She wouldn't think about that now.

“Veronica!” came her dad's voice from the front room and she inwardly cursed. 

So close.

“Hi,” she said, overly bright. “Just leaving.”

“I need to talk to you,” he said, walking out.

“Sorry, but I'm all out of talks for today.”

“It's important.”

She was almost at the door.

“I'm not really interested in hearing about your latest exploits with your mistress, m'kay?” 

She put her hand on the doorknob.

“Stop right there.” She sighed and turned. “What have you heard?” he asked quietly.

He wanted to do this now? Okay, she'd do it with a vengeance.

“Heard? What have I seen is more like! How could you! I've never been so disappointed in someone in my life.”

“Just sit down and let's talk about it.”

“I don't want to talk about it. Do you know how many jokes we have about people like you in our line of work? I know you do.”

“Veronica, it wasn't like that.”

“Where have we heard that before? Oh, yeah, from every john we've ever caught with his pants down.”

“You're right,” Keith said, putting his hands up. “I know the excuses. I know it all. But I did it anyway and then I stopped.”

“I just saw you with her!”

“I was telling her it was over. Listen, I get lonely. Lonelier than I'll ever admit. Harmony was in a loveless marriage. She was companionship and it took some pretty extreme circumstances for me to let myself go there, but...I knew it was wrong. I just had to work myself back out.”

“You shouldn't have done it in the first place.”

“I admitted I was wrong, Veronica,” he said harshly. “But everyone makes mistakes.”

“I never thought you would,” she said in a broken voice.

“Then I've done wrong by you,” he said. “Because no one should be brought up to think that about their parents. Even if they should have no cause to doubt them, they shouldn't put them on pedestals.”

“How could I not after everything? I've seen too much working here to ever be surprised again. But I...I had this one shining example that gave me some faith.”

“Don't make me your excuse,” he said. “I agree you've seen some hard things. But I'm not your standard, you have your own, and it's impossible to live up to.”

“You sound like Logan,” she said angrily. 

“Then it might be the first time I've ever agreed with him. Honey, listen, I'm not perfect and I didn't do the right thing here. But I'm worried about you. You're so jaded and so expectant at the same time, it's not healthy. You're the prime example of an amazing Mars, but there's something you lack and I'm sorry I let it happen.”

“I will not be blamed for your problems,” she said and walked out the door.

_Mr. Lord: You have a good mind, a pretty face, a disciplined body that does what you tell it to. You have everything it takes to make a lovely woman except the one essential - an understanding heart. And without that, you might just as well be made of bronze.  
Tracy: That's an awful thing to say to anyone.  
Mr. Lord: Yes, it is indeed.  
Mrs. Lord: Seth, that's too much.  
Mr. Lord: I'm afraid it's not enough, Margaret. I'm afraid nothing is._


	5. Chapter 5

_Dexter: You look beautiful, Red. Come on in.  
Tracy: Why?  
Dexter: No particular reason. A drink, maybe?  
Tracy: I don't drink.  
Dexter: That's right, I forgot.  
Tracy: I haven't._

Veronica didn't really know where she was going. She felt the urge to talk to Wallace and tried his cell phone. He wasn't answering, but she vaguely recalled something about him going to some party tonight. She didn't really feel like going to a party, or maybe she did, but what she really wanted was to talk to Wallace.

When she got to the frat house, she was almost beginning to regret her decision, but everything that had been smoldering in her all day, erupted into flame. She was just going to see Wallace.

A drink did sound nice right about now, so she used one of her coasters. Never again would she just drink something without being sure what was in it. The beer burned on the way down, but it felt better than the hurtful words she'd been hearing. Idly, she supposed she should eat something, so she grabbed at chips in bowls as she passed them, taking another beer on her way.

There was no sign of Wallace and Veronica was on her third beer, still meticulously using her coaster. She spotted some acquaintances and headed toward them.

“Hey!” she yelled over the music. “Any of you seen Wallace?”

“Yeah, just awhile ago. He was outside,” said a girl whose name was probably Sheila. “Great party, huh?”

“I actually like this song,” Veronica said back, starting to loosen up enough to sway.

“What's your name again,” asked the Sheila girl.

“Veronica. I'm friends with Wallace! Have you seen him?”

“Outside, I think,” was the answer given with a knowing grin.

“I'm going to find my friend Wallace,” Veronica said, definitely dancing as she headed outside and grabbed another beer.

“You do that, honey.”

Veronica felt happier when she got outside. Here it wasn't as warm and no one was having an affair or telling her she was like some stuck up actress. Plus there was more alcohol out here.

But no Wallace. Veronica's mouth turned upside down a little, but then the music changed and she forgot about him.

“I love this song,” she yelled to no one in particular and made her way down to where some people were dancing. They welcomed her eagerly into their little group and Veronica danced as she hadn't since Lilly died. This was a much better way of spending her night.

Pretty soon, the people she was dancing with began to feel like family and Veronica started to regret all the time she'd wasted with other people in her life.

But she was tired, so she left them and found some more beer. She passed some people she knew by sight and threw her arms around them affectionately. 

“Aren't you glad you're here?” she asked.

“Even gladder you are,” one of the guys said. 

His name was Stuart, no Brian, no, McFadden, no, that was a last name.

“Why is your last name your first name?” she asked him. 

He grinned and put his arm around her.

“Weird parents, baby. My name's James.”

“I liked what you said in Intro to Criminal Psych about the poss-possi, that word, of...well, you said it, anyway.”

“I sure did,” he said, bring her closer and extending his hand out to the rest of the people he was standing with. “Veronica, meet the gang.”

“Hi, gang,” she said exuberantly, flinging some of the contents of her cup onto the lawn behind her.

“You here alone?” James asked.

“I came to find Wallace,” she said, then leaned in closer. “Wallace is a basketball player and he is my very best friend.”

“Is he?”

“Yes, posit-pos, that word.”

“You want some help looking for him?” he asked her, still looking at her like she was the best thing he'd ever seen.

“Yes! Yes, that would be wonderful.”

“Then let's go.”

Veronica led the way back toward the dance floor, where she promptly forgot about Wallace again and danced with James.

“You're quite a girl,” he said admiringly. 

“Only on the occasional case,” she said.

“I've heard talk about you,” he said. “I've seen what you can do. You're a hellcat.”

“Hell is bad,” she said solemnly.

“Your flames are good, baby,” he said. “You're fiery and good.”

For some reason those nonsensical words were exactly what Veronica needed to hear and she might have wiped away a tear before continuing to dance.

*** 

Logan didn't want to go out tonight. He'd been behind in his schoolwork and seeing Veronica today hadn't helped his state of mind. But Dick had called him, dead drunk, and Logan was too impressed that his friend hadn’t tried to drive to be mad at him. So, he went to the frat house and set about finding Dick.

He found him slumped over a drink in the backyard while an equally drunk brunette made cooing noises over him.

“Come on, pal,” he said, putting his arm under Dick's shoulder.

“Is it time to go?” Dick asked.

“Yup, time to go. Come on.”

“Okay,” Dick agreed limply and staggered to his feet with Logan's help. Logan almost dropped him when he looked across the dance floor and saw Veronica wildly dancing while the crowd cheered her on. “Dude, what gives?”

“That's Veronica,” Logan said dumbly.

“Yeah, she's been doing that all night. I guess that something decided to fall out of her ass. Even came onto me.”

“I'll bet.” 

Logan was sarcastic as hell, but somehow the sight of her was enough to make him think that he was projecting his reality onto the world. It just could not be.

“Can we go now or are you gonna get her autograph?”

Logan nodded and got Dick to the car, took the keys, locked the doors, and headed back in. He was hoping Dick was too drunk to figure out the child locks.

When he got back to the dance floor, he noticed the crowd had thinned, but Veronica's enthusiasm hadn't.

He stood there, a slight smile on his face, but he was worried. This wasn't good.

She spotted him and immediately stiffened, that something Dick talked about, crawling right back up her ass.

“Hello, Looogan,” she drawled and then sauntered towards him. “Still high and mighty?”

“Always a little patience,” he said, knowing she wouldn't understand. 

She looked at him and she was probably more real in that moment than he'd seen her since before Lilly died.

“Don't I look like I'm having fun?”

“That's what worries me,” he said.

“James here is very...accommodating.”

“Also respectful, I hope,” Logan said, staring hard at the James in question. “And what about dear John?”

“John is very proper,” she said and giggled slightly. “But Cindi definitely had it right when...” and she was off, singing _Girls Just Wanna Have Fun_ and Logan had to keep himself from laughing.

“You her boyfriend?” James asked, obviously drunk himself.

“Ex,” Logan said. “But only in name, so you keep your hands to yourself because she does have a boyfriend.”

“Just having fun, mate.”

Logan turned to go, not seeing the video camera set high in the trees. He couldn't leave her here like this. Who to call? Keith was out of the question.

Logan luckily got Wallace on the phone.

“Veronica's not exactly herself,” he said. “Where are you at?”

Wallace named the frat house Logan was currently standing by.

“She's here too. Come out to the dance floor.” Logan snapped his phone shut and was soon joined by Wallace who stared open-mouthed for a minute or two. “Fun, isn't it?” Logan asked.

“I've got no words.”

“She can't stay here, have you been drinking?”

“Definitely not as much as she has.”

“Get her and I'll take you all home,” Logan said, sighing. “She won't go with me, but maybe she'll come if you're there.”

He watched Wallace go over to her and be greeted enthusiastically. Apparently, Veronica didn't want to say goodnight, because she wrapped her arms around the neck of her current beau and they started to make out. Wallace grabbed her arm and firmly started to pull her away, but she obviously insisted on bringing James with her.

“Oh, it's a full house, is it?” Logan asked dryly, but led the way to his car. “Hop in.”

Thankfully, Dick hadn't thrown up.

“I don't wanna go in the yellow beast,” Veronica said. “It's thoroughly revolting.”

“My, you get posh when you're drunk,” Logan said over his shoulder. “In.”

Veronica gave him a dirty look and acquiesced. Wallace managed to sit in between her and James.

Logan dropped James off first. Veronica yelled goodbye in quite loud tones and then seemed to get sleepy, falling asleep on Wallace's shoulder.

“Is this going to be a problem?” Logan asked.

“James is a good guy,” Wallace said. “He won't make a fuss.”

“Will Veronica?” Logan wondered out loud and then winced at the sight of Dick's drool all over his side door.

“James says I'm, says I'm, fiery,” Veronica said and hiccoughed.

“And what of the erstwhile John?” Logan asked.

“John's lovely.” Veronica sighed. “So are you, Wallace-wally.”

“I'm hoping for a blank on this night.” 

Wallace sighed too, leaning his head back.

“And what am I?” Logan asked Veronica.

“You're Aladdin,” she said, her voice fading as she dropped back to sleep. “Just ask the tiger voice.”

Logan wondered if he was going to have to go home and watch a kid's movie now. But he got her and Wallace safely home and then proceeded to do the same with Dick, wondering what the outcome was going to be. 

_Mike: You're wonderful. There's a magnificence in you, Tracy.  
Tracy: Now, I'm getting self-conscious. It's funny. I-Mike? Let's...  
Mike: Yeah?  
Tracy: I don't know - go up, I guess, it's late.  
Mike: A magnificence that comes out of your eyes and your voice and the way you stand there and the way you walk. You're lit from within, Tracy. You've got fires banked down in you. Hearth fires and holocausts.  
Tracy: I don't seem to you made of bronze?  
Mike: No, you're made out of flesh and blood. That's the blank, unholy surprise of it. Why, you're the golden girl, Tracy, full of life and warmth and delight. Well, what goes on? You've got tears in your eyes._


	6. Chapter 6

_Dexter: Shut up, Red! I can't have you thinking things like that about yourself.  
Tracy: Well, what am I supposed to think when I - Oh I don't know. I don't know anything any more.  
Dexter: That sounds very hopeful, Red. That sounds just fine._

Veronica woke up and wished she hadn't. There was nothing good about this morning. Eventually she made her way to the kitchen, but it was empty. There was some sort of message to her on the counter, but that could be anything.

She gingerly sat down and waited for her head to stop pounding which probably wasn't going to happen for awhile.

The phone rang and she almost fell over. Surely it was a torment straight from hell. Hadn't someone been talking about hell recently?

The answering machine clicked on.

“Veronica, it's Mac. You need to call me right away.”

Her cell phone started to ring and Veronica groaned. Couldn't a person die in peace?

She looked at the view screen and it blurred in front of her. She was pretty sure it said John.

Something about John was ringing a bell. But bell ringing was bad. That would hurt.

The door knocked. Wait; there was a knock on the door, at the door.

“Come in,” she said weakly from her spot on the couch.

“She does look bad,” Logan said with a wink at Wallace as they let themselves in.

“Why are you here?” she asked, closing her eyes against the extra light.

“To get those eyes open,” he said. “I am very experienced in such things, remember?”

“I'm sure you are,” she said.

“Veronica, come on, drink this,” Wallace said, giving her a thermos bottle, one she vaguely recalled seeing in Logan's possession before.

“It smells nasty,” she said.

“It will heal what ails you,” Logan said from the door.

Veronica started to drink it down, gagging slightly.

“You're trying to kill me,” she murmured, sitting up a little.

“Nonsense,” Logan replied. “I like you carefree. Dancing, happy.”

“Dancing!” Veronica's eyes shot open. “Um, I don't dance.”

“Yeah you do,” Wallace said. “All too well.”

Veronica's mind started to race, as much as it hurt. Images flashed before her eyes. Several important guys in her life, none of them the one who was supposed to be. Bright lights, music, a dance floor.

“I'm going to be sick,” she said, sitting upright.

“It's not as easy as it looks, huh?” Logan asked.

“Go home, Logan,” she said. “I'm sorry, please go home.”

“Talk to me later,” he said. “Please.”

“I, I promise.”

Logan nodded and left. Wallace sat down next to her.

“Wanna tell me anything?”

Veronica nodded slowly. 

“A whole lot. Almost none of it good.”

*** 

Mac came over when Veronica didn't call her back. She brought her laptop and did not look like the bearer of good news. Wallace was still there though he had a class later. On the subject of Mac's haste, he was apparently as ignorant as Veronica, saying he'd been too focused on her to do anything else that day.

“Swear you won't kill me when you see this,” Mac said.

“Should I?” Veronica asked. 

She was feeling more sprightly after having showered and letting Logan's remedy do its thing.

“No. I just found it and corrupted it as much as I could.”

Mac set up her laptop and pushed play. Veronica watched in horror as she saw in vivid detail all her actions of the previous night. The ones she remembered and the ones she didn't.

The last part was the worst. It involved Wallace coming up to her and James and her obviously refusing to leave him. Finally he came with her, after a brief make out session, and when they left the frame...well, it didn't look like they were leaving the party separately.

“Frak,” Veronica said, disbelieving. “Wallace...I didn't, did I? Oh, I did. I thought I felt different today.”

“Maybe that was the copious amounts of alcohol you consumed,” Wallace said comfortingly.

“Wallace, this is serious. Tell me I didn't just-”

“Cheat on your boyfriend and have wild, monkey sex with an almost stranger,” Mac suggested.

“I might kill you later,” Veronica said. “When I have the strength.”

“I'm sure it's not what it seems,” Mac said, softening. “I wanted to show this to you. It's on all the campus sites. It's not just you, I just copied your portion, but a lot of other people were doing stupid stuff on this video.”

“Like that helps,” Veronica said, tears starting to come to her eyes. 

Far more than she'd felt in a long time.

“Allow me to interrupt,” Wallace said, seemingly wanting to reassure her. Just then there was a knock at the door. “Ignore it,” Wallace told her.

“No, it's probably John,” Veronica said. “I have to tell him.”

“But-”

John opened the door and came in, not looking happy.

“Veronica, can we talk in private? I've left you five messages.”

“I'm sorry,” Veronica said. “I'm so sorry.”

“Can we talk in private?”

“These are my friends. I don't have anything to hide from them. They deserve an explanation too.”

“I'm the one you cheated on.”

“She didn't cheat on anybody,” Wallace said, fed up. “Nothing but kissing.”

“Kissing is enough,” Veronica said quietly, but nobody seemed to hear her.

“Is that true, Veronica?” John asked, turning to her.

“I guess so. Wallace was there,” she answered, hardly able to believe it herself.

“I helped her into the car and we took her home, him first,” Wallace said firmly.

“Who is he?” asked John.

“I...I don't really know," Veronica replied, her mind not really on the conversation.

“So now you're making out with strangers!”

“I know of him, he was in one of my classes. I guess we just...latched onto each other last night.”

“Latching on sounds about right.” 

John was looking more and more indignant with the explanation.

“I'm sorry,” Veronica said. 

“You were drunk.”

“That seems to be the consensus,” she said wryly.

“Drunk is putting it lightly,” Wallace said to Mac. “Girl was giddy.”

“Sh,” Mac said, watching the back and forth between the lovers. 

“Now do you see how evil alcohol is?”

“It's not to be blamed for people's usage of it,” Veronica said, inwardly cringing at what Logan would think of this conversation.

“Well, your use was certainly poor. Why, Veronica? I thought we agreed on things like this. We were something so special.”

“We're not a trophy,” she spit back. “I made a mistake.”

“Well, you're gonna have to not make more of them.”

“That's impossible,” Veronica said.

“Then we're over,” he said.

“I quite agree,” she said. “I'm sorry to have wasted so much of your valuable time. But at the moment, I can see that even though she was wrong, the Veronica of last night was a lot happier than this Veronica has been in a long time.”

John simply gave her a long look, which she returned, and left, slamming the door behind him.

Wallace and Mac gave each other a silent high five when they obviously thought Veronica couldn't see and when she turned to them their faces were appropriately somber.

“We're sorry,” Mac said.

“No, you're not,” Veronica said. “Listen, Mac, can you get rid of this video?”

“Absolutely.”

Veronica sank down onto the couch. 

“I'm gonna have to talk to James, aren't I?” she asked no one in particular.

“He's taken care of,” Wallace said. “I already talked to him this morning.”

“You really shouldn't have,” Veronica said, but cast him a grateful smile.

“Taking care of ya,” he said, putting an arm around her shoulders. “It's okay every once in a while.”

“I rather like it at the moment,” she said. “I'll probably talk to him later anyway.”

“He's a nice guy,” Wallace said. “He won't make you feel bad. It wasn't like he wasn't drunk himself.”

“I guess not,” she said and put her hands on her face. “Oh, guys, how did it all get like this?”

“It's just a fact of life,” Mac said. “Even Wallace was drinking. I wasn't though.” 

She smiled a self-satisfied smirk.

“You're a monument of virtue,” Veronica told her sarcastically.

“Nothing wrong with virtue,” Mac answered. “But there's also nothing wrong with being human.”

“Logan is going to be so hard to deal with,” Veronica said and sighed. 

But she put the Logan problem out of her mind. Regardless of her own indiscretions of late, she could still point a few fingers at him if she needed to.

“Rest,” Mac told her as she left, taking Wallace with her to drop him off.

“I gotta talk to Dr. O’Leary,” Veronica said. “My paper needs work.”

“Email him,” Wallace advised.

Veronica was feeling a lot better now. John being gone wasn't nearly the traumatic event that most of her breakups turned out to be. She decided to drive to the campus and deal with her life responsibly. If only to make herself feel like Veronica Mars again.

She parked and made the quick walk to the administrative offices. Dr. O’Leary was busy so she sat down to wait.

Logan’s name caught her ear and she sat bolt upright.

“-really improving.” 

That was Dr. O’Leary’s voice. The door to his office was slightly ajar. She inched closer.

“Agreed,” came the voice of a woman. “He started out so cocky and spoiled. I thought for sure he would be the first rich kid to get kicked out this year. But he’s put in so much of an effort in my class that the curve was affected.”

“I’ve seen the same things.” 

Veronica covered the ear that wasn’t pointed at the door in order to hear better. She was a Mars. Eavesdropping was literally the family business.

“-I don’t know what motivated him, but right about November, he just kicked in with this self-improvement high.”

“Well, Dean Reynolds was telling me about his stint in that rehab center by Carmel. He actually got through it.”

“Good for him. I know what we say about the spoiled, rich kids, but it’s nice to see one doing something with their life.”

“Agreed. We need good students. Speaking of which, I’ve got one coming in here about now to talk about her paper. Excuse me, Karrin.”

“Of course. I’ll see you later, Sean.”

Veronica straightened up and tried to look invisible.

A woman came out and then Dr. O’Leary came to invite her inside. She went, but her mind wasn’t on her paper, and she felt as if the hangover was making a comeback.

***

Veronica didn't feel like doing anything else productive. She was too tired after her exuberant night out and the revelations that just kept coming. She put on some sweats and started flipping through the channels. She was hoping to catch her dad when he came home. She wasn't sure what she was going to say, but she would have to say something. She felt slightly less indignant than before.

Something on TCM caught her eye and she went back to it. _The Philadelphia Story._ Logan's movie. She couldn't resist.

Then she didn't want to. This movie was her life. It had her relationship with Logan, her new one with John, her disappointment with her father, and her own fall from lofty heights.

It was a relief to know this wasn't a singular event in the universe. But it was eerie as to how similar it was to her life of late. 

But the hardest part was seeing in herself the self-righteous pride of Tracy Lord. They had come by it in different ways, but Veronica's version was no less rigorous in its demands on others. On people she loved. Veronica started to cry again. So many tears, for all the different faults she could see now.

All it took was being drunk. She had to laugh at herself about that. She didn't think she'd be drinking again soon, but at least, for a few moments, she'd been free.

When she reached the end of the movie, Veronica was happier than she'd been in a long time. So, the boy got the girl. But which boy? The right one, she thought. She wouldn't be too surprised if her own right boy would get her as well. Once she'd groveled a little.

The door opened and her father came in.

“Oh, Father,” she cried out. 

He stopped dead.

“Father?” he queried. “What new land of formality is this?”

“I'm so full of love for you,” she said, not caring that he didn't know what she was talking about.

“What gives?” he asked.

“Sit down,” she said, dragging him over. Not at all the Veronica Mars people knew presently. “I've got a lot to say.”

_Tracy: How do I look?  
Mr. Lord: Like a queen - like a goddess.  
Tracy: And do you know how I feel?  
Mr. Lord: How?  
Tracy: Like a human. Like a human being._


	7. Epilogue

_Tracy: Dexter, are you sure?  
Dexter: Not in the least. But I'll risk it. Will you?  
Tracy: You bet! You didn't do it just to soften the blow?  
Dexter: No, Tracy.  
Tracy: Nor to save my face?  
Dexter: Oh, it's a nice little face.  
Tracy: Oh, Dexter, I'll be 'yar' now. I'll promise to be 'yar.'  
Dexter: Be whatever you like. You're my redhead._

When Veronica finally made it to his doorway, Logan was waiting anxiously. But the Veronica who knocked on the door was not the one he’d met years ago, not the one who he’d hated, not the one he’d loved, nor the one he’d broken up with.

“Glad to see ya,” he said and inwardly winced because he really was watching way too many old movies.

“Hi,” she said, nothing sour lingering in her tone. 

He loved it.

“So, what’s new? Want something?”

“No alcohol, thank you,” she said. 

He rolled his eyes.

“I’ve got none, I’m afraid.”

“I’m glad,” she said, smiling.

“What happened to you?” he asked. “This strange friendliness is making me suspicious. Are you planning on having me killed later?”

“I’d do it myself if I was gonna,” she said and sat down on the couch.

“I’m sure you would.” 

He sat down next to her and they sat in companionable silence for a minute or two. Almost a first.

“John’s gone,” she said suddenly. “He didn’t approve of my antics. Not that I did either, but he doesn’t have to live with me.”

“No,” Logan said slowly. “But he doesn’t have to live without you either.”

“No, no, I think he does. We all make mistakes,” she said, looking at him quickly and then away. “And he was one of mine and probably I was one of his.”

“You’re never a mistake, Veronica,” Logan said.

“Who died and made you a sweet talker?” she asked.

“It’s a purely ceremonial position,” he answered lightly. “But I get a really nifty hat.”

“I don’t like you in hats,” she said.

“No?”

“No.”

“I can’t say that I wear them often.”

“Just how I like it.”

“And how much do you like it?”

“I watched the movie,” she said, ignoring his question. 

That peaked his interest.

“And?”

“You were right. We were both so full of idiocy, but now…”

“Now?”

“You led the way and I hope to follow.”

“Follow me where?” 

“To a place without so much expectation. Logan, I’m so sorry for everything I did to you. I was right, I always am. But there’s a difference between not wanting something to happen and practically making it happen.”

“Don’t beat yourself up,” he said, smiling, nay, grinning. “It’s not worth it.”

“It can be an interesting exercise though,” she said.

“So, what does this new found clarity of yours mean?”

“It means I’m going to do my best to be yar. I can see that you are.”

“There’s nothing better than someone who gets my references,” he said and scooted close to her. “Hey.”

“What?”

“Come here.” 

He kissed her and she unreservedly kissed him back. It was the best feeling he’d ever had. 

“Golly,” she said when he finally broke away and he simply smiled back.

He got up and got some juice out of the fridge and brought it over to her.

“Here’s to being human,” he said.

“Here’s to forgiveness,” she said. 

And they drank.


End file.
